Why I stayed-A Catholic Conversion

Aimee at her blog Historical Catholic brought forward a very interesting topic 'Are We Catholic Enough'. Please do read her thoughts on this and the commentary following it.

Below is the reason why I stayed.

There are some Catholics who feel that the Church belongs solely to those born into it and fail to understand what being Catholic means. The dictionary defines the word Catholic as "universal in extent; involving all." If a Catholic uses such statements as 'that person is not quite 'Catholic' enough' then they need to understand that they are the one's out of step with what Catholicism truly represents.

If you wish to understand what happened within my Parish, then feel free to read my post, 'No Converts Please We're Catholics'. Within this topic you will discover that my former Parish is indeed dysfunctional and very unwelcoming to Converts.

The reason for this post is to let the reader know why I stayed. The most important point is not what happened to me, no matter how hurtful or painful. It is why I stayed within the fold of the Catholic Church.

During this most painful time when many within my Parish were making it obvious they did not consider Converts as 'real Catholics' my family discovered that my mother had terminal cancer. My mother had a great devotion to Our Lady. I feel her love for our Blessed Mother was Divinely inspired in that my mother was too ill to read about her, but she spent hours praying her Rosary or simply gazing at a picture of Our Lady. Thankfully before she died the Priest did agree to Baptize my mother into the Catholic Church.

During this tumultuous time, my heart at times felt torn asunder. My Mother was dying and the Catholics within my Parish were making it obvious they would not accept me or any other 'ingrates'.

Rather than be overcome and leave, I discovered something greater, something more meaningful and depthful. I asked myself the question, why am I staying? I then discovered the answer, for God alone.

I could not walk away from The Eucharist or the Sacraments of the Catholic Church, nor could I leave Our Lady and our great Saints.

God is a dangerous Lover, He seduces the soul until we can no longer be satiated by the trivialities of the world. It is a thirst that only The Divine can quench yet we are still like deer that panteth after the water.

What I went through, scorched away my own superficiality in that I did not have to face those who opposed me, I instead faced my own weakness and fears.

I found myself in the Fire of God's Divine Love, but God's love does not destroy us. It instead refines and strengthens that which is weakest in our frail human nature.

Where I was weak God steeled me to remain where He wished me to be. When I suffered hurt God helped me realise that it was my Ego that was paining and not the inner sanctum of my soul. When I vaccilated, God helped me realise who was I following Him or people? When I wished to flee God helped me understand to whom was I running from, people or God Himself?

I finally understood that to follow Christ comes at a price. We are not meant to be safe or comfortable or look for safe havens. The only way to Christ is through the Cross.

Faith has nothing to do with how nice people are or if they are welcoming. Faith is staying the course, it is steeling yourself to run the good race. It is to run into the Unknowing and trusting that God knows the Way better than you. It is to love God for Himself alone and not for what He gives you or how you are treated.

Faith is not about gaining it is about giving and to give till it costs. Faith IS God's Love working within YOU.

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" (Jn 6: 68).

This is why I stayed.

Are We Catholic Enough...Aimee's Blog

Aimee at her blog Historical Christian has touched on a topic that is very close to my heart. Here is an extract:

"Catholicism by its very nature is nothing but converts. We are all converts, no one is "born Catholic," and all of us are in need of deeper conversion. Catholicism exists for the sole purpose of converting people, converting them to God, to the truth about life, converting them to reality: eternal life with God. A Catholic who looks down on a convert is actually themselves unconverted, and very much in need of conversion."

I would encourage you all to read what Aimee has written. She has expressed herself so eloquently that I need not add anymore. Please read it.

St. Edith Stein

Edith Stein lived the true meaning of her chosen name Sister Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, for just as Jesus embraced The Cross so did Sister Teresa Benedicta.

Edith was born into a very Traditional Jewish family she was the youngest of eleven children. Unfortunately for her family Edith's Father died when she was not yet two years old, which left her Mother as the sole provider for the entire family. As Edith grew and matured she had a deep admiration and love for her Mother who struggled to support her large family. Even though Edith herself had turned her back on God, Mrs Stein remained a staunch and Devout Jew, teaching her children the Traditions of the Jewish Faith.

One of the great blessings that Edith was born with was a curious mind and a thirst for knowledge, which led her to study Philosophy, and to become one of the first women to study this subject at University. Edith was accepted at University of Breslau before transferring to the University of Gottingen in order to study with Edmund Husserl, the founder of phenomenology. It was while studying this course and observing the Faith of those around her that Edith began an inner journey to find the Source of All Truth. A course that would change her life forever and from which would also come The Way of The Cross, for herself.

It was whilst she was vacationing with friends that Edith happened by chance to see the book written by St. Teresa of Avila. Her curiosity was aroused and so Edith began to read St Teresa's autobiography and was unable to put it down until she had read the last sentence, it was Edith's Epiphany moment. There was no turning back for Edith, for she believed without doubt what she had read within that most profound book as the Truth she had been seeking. It also brought untold pain and anguish knowing in her heart that she must embrace Catholicism and leave behind her rich Jewish heritage. With this knowledge burning in her soul Edith also knew how her beloved mother would recieve the news of her daughters conversion.

A double blow would then strike Ediths mother when she found that her daughter not only would become a Catholic but also a Religious in The Order of Carmel. This was a troubling and most painful of times for both Mother and daughter, but Edith could not resist the Call of God. On October 15, just after her forty-second birthday, Edith Stein entered the Carmel of Cologne, taking the name Teresa Benedicta of the Cross.

Upon the death of her Mother, Edith would be joined by her sister Rosa who also converted and was Baptized into the Catholic Church. When the Nazi tyranny turned to untold violence in the infamous 'Kristillnacht', Edith's Superiors decided to transer Sister Teresa Benedicta to the Carmel in Echt, the Netherlands. Her sister Rosa later joined her there as a Third Order Carmelite, in which Rosa helped serve the Community.

But unfortunately this was not enough to safeguard either Edith or her sister Rosa and both were arrested on August 2, 1942. When her sister reached a state of confusion Edith with much compassion and courage took her sister Rosa and led her with these words, "Come, Rosa. We go for our people." The sisters were deported to Auschwitz and executed just a week later. Edith Stein was fifty years old.

No Converts Please We're Catholics

When I write a piece I try to be general and inclusive of most Catholic beliefs and Traditions. In this case though I can't mainly because I can't speak for other Parishes. I can only speak about my former Parish and the experiences that I and some other converts were subjected too.

Like many Parishes I went through the RCIA. During the first meeting a woman stormed in and thumped the table where we were all seated. This angry lady then went on to say that ALL converts were ingrates and that because we were NOT born Catholic we would never be accepted as such.

What I didnt know then, and came to understand over the years, is that this lady was correct, she simply vocalised what many within my Catholic 'community' were thinking but were to frightened to say.

Things became so ugly in the RCIA that I chose instead to learn the Catholic Faith by a most holy Passionist Priest in Adelaide over a period of a year. Once the year had been completed I was Confirmed into the Catholic Church. What a wonderful experience, I was finally Catholic, or was I?

During my time at this particular Parish, I watched over the years as many converts were received into the Church and yet within 6 months all the Catholic converts had left the parish. I brought this fact up at a Parish Council meeting and was told to go and see these 'people' for myself, so I did.

What I found when interviewing these wonderful converts is that many felt unwelcomed and isolated. They all said that noone within the Parish sat next to them during Mass, and once Mass was completed none of the Catholics would speak to them. When I asked if they thought of approaching some of their fellow Catholics many replied that they did and found that the people they approached simply talked around them and never involved them into their conversations. There were also many of my fellow converts who through illness had been unable to attend Mass, they felt very hurt that not one Catholic had enqired after them not even their Sponsors.

The one common ground they all shared though was that after being away from Mass for several months ALL these converts received was a letter reminding them to keep up their donations!

I know that some cradle Catholics find converts irritating and at times we are. We love our Faith, we want to know more about it, we are in affect excited by The Traditions and beliefs of the Catholic Church and long to know even more. Is it the fault of the convert that many cradle Catholics do not know or understand the meaning of many of their Traditions?

Another angst is that converts are 'know it alls' and tend to preach AT their fellow cradle Catholics. This seems to occur when many cradle Catholics deviate away from Catholic Teachings. What cradle Catholics don't understand is that by expressing opinions which are not inline with Church Teaching they are confusing the converts who have only just learnt what Catholics believe and why.

For an example from my own experience I was told by a Catholic Priest that Jesus had only ONE nature, and that was human nature and that Jesus did not have a Divine Nature. Huh? I was taught differently by the Passionist Priest, that Jesus had both Human and Divine Nature. Another Priest described the Eucharist as 'just a biscuit'. Again huh? I was taught that the Eucharist IS the Body and Blood of our Lord. Once again a Priest instructed me that I did not have to genuflect before the Tabernacle in that 'nothing was really IN there'. Excuse me? I was taught that the Tabernacle contained the Eucharist which is the Body and Blood of our Lord and so due Reverence is obligatory. Am I wrong?

I know at times converts can be over zealous I know I was very much within that sphere. I had fallen inlove with the Divine Mercy as revealed to St. Faustina. I personally bought tracts, booklets and pamphlets detailing the Divine Mercy Chaplet and God's Mercy, through my love for this devotion I then handed out these booklets and pamphlets to my fellow catholic parishioners. Then oneday a friend approached and asked me to stop, she told me that I was making many of my fellow Catholics uncomfortable. I must have looked dumbfounded for she went on to say, " the Catholics here only want to go to Mass, they dont want to know Jesus". I was stunned to say the least!

After persevering in this Parish for over 10 years I left. A new Priest had come in and decided that he is 'Jesus' and so the Church did not need a Crucifix. The Crucifix now sits in the Sacristy gathering dust. The new Nun had renamed God 'Sophia' and only referred to God as 'goddess'.

I can say that not one convert goes to this parish. I was the last convert standing and now even I left. Where is the victory for cradle Catholics? If they continue this snubbing of converts what will the future hold for all Catholics?

Even in this blogging sphere I have been referred to as a 'neo catholic' I had to look that up on google as I had never heard of it before. I was also accused of saying that another 'catholic' was a 'rad trad?' I had no idea what that meant either and once again looked it up on google. I have never met a 'radical traditionalist'. Was the name calling necessary because the person realised that I was a convert? How uncharitable!

I now attend Catholic Mass at a Church which is a 40 minute drive away. I can say though just like my fellow converts of my previous parish the only letter I received from them was one to remind me to keep up with my donation. How insulting they don't want us 'converts' but they DO want our money!

I hope that other Parishes will be more open to converts and more patient. There will be some who upon reading this will say smugly to themselves, 'well their faith couldn't have been THAT great if they left'. And they would be correct. A convert does not have the strength to withstand a hurricane of indifference and total snubbing, they will break under such pressure.

Upon reading this ask yourself, when was the last time you spoke to a convert or invited them to your home?

I do hope though that what I and others experienced in this Parish is a one off. I would hate to think that others also have gone through this same experience? How does your Parish treat Converts?