Focus On The Family-Who's Looking After The Kids

We live in a world that is exploding with information where everything is on the go and almost everyone is in a hurry, too much of a hurry to stop and think in which direction they are going or where they will end up. This 'go go go' attitude to life may work out for adults who can cope with high stress lifestyles but how does it affect the children of today?

In this hectic pace the only time where information stops its cacophony of sound is when we retire to bed, only then do we gain some measure of peace or are our minds still buzzing as we attempt to try and gain some much needed rest for our tired bodies and our minds? If adults find it hard to switch off then how do our children cope? If they are watching the same programmes as their parents or accessing the internet where information comes almost at the speed of light, how are they able to automatically switch off at bed time or are their brains buzzing too? So much so that sleep is elusive and they wake up in the morning still tired and stressed out even before the day truly begins. Is this the most beneficial lifestyle for today's children?

As the debate grows with the ADHD controversy where children as young as five years of age are being given mind altering drugs such as Ritalin which is a stimulant much like methamphetamine or they are being put on a program of anti-depressant drugs in order for them to deal with life. Once again is this the best we can do for our children to drug them into conformity? Do we truly want robotic children who sit in their class rooms like bombed out zombies as their individuality is negated in favour of some 'peace and quiet'. This 'illness' ADHD only seems to have been invented during these past decades, why haven't their been cases of ADHD throughout the centuries?

I remember a few months ago as I waited in the doctors waiting room a young family came in, the parents gave their mobile phone to their eldest daughter to play with while they were waiting to be seen by their Doctor. Their younger daughter then asked if she too could have a mobile, she was told no! Thus ensued a tantrum. The parents then said they wished the doctor would give their youngest daughter ADHD drugs.

Was the youngest daughter throwing things? No! Did she attack her elder sister? No! She simply began crying and insisted it wasn't fair. Common sense alone dictates if you favour one child over another, you are courting disaster.

For those who are in the 40 to 50 age bracket do you remember any child being diagnosed as ADHD when you attended school? Or were boys simply being boys and girls were girls as diversity thrived in the class rooms and where there was always the possibility that one or two children would be naturally pugnacious or irreverent towards those in authority? What has happened in these past few generations that the children who may have these very characteristics are now seen as 'ill' and in need of medication so that they will be able to fit in with all the other children. Who decided what was general normality? Or is there no such thing?

This is not to say that every parent is wrong or that teachers who are often overworked and underpaid are also at fault. What needs to be investigated is who made the decision to categorize what is normal and what is not? We also need to take a long hard look at the foods we digest and what is being put into them, so certain foods will have a longer shelf life. How are these additives affecting the children who eat or drink them? It is a time consuming ordeal but parents may need to list the foods that their children are eating and perhaps re-adjust their lifestyle choices in favour of organically grown fresh fruit and vegetables and less on the fast food, highly sugar dosed cereals and the candy industry which is filled with high doses of additives.

In today's society we are the most sedentary generation mainly due to the conveniences we now take for granted such as automatic washing machines, clothes dryers, microwaves etc. Many families have two cars so that children may now be driven to where they have to go rather than walk or ride bikes. A lot of children's angst is due to the fact that their energy levels have not been used during the day and so high energy levels will soon turn to irritability. This does not mean that a child has suddenly contracted ADHD, and therefore needs to be medicated.

Rather than rely totally on Doctors and the pharmaceutical companies who make their living from the drugs they sell, perhaps it is time for parents to embrace their child's diversity and individualism without trying to make them conform into a set image of robotic behavior based on whose theory? Only the parent can make the decision, of what is the best treatment for their child. Therefore investigate all avenues before deciding what approach to take when treating your child, it's future depends on you.

Written by Marie

When Your Home Is Your Prison

Over at Marie Cecile blog she brought up an interesting topic about reorganization that got me thinking. What comes first to many of us, a home that is spotless at all times? Or a lived in home where people feel comfortable?

As you all know I have had a bad dose of flu this past week or so and have basically ignored the housework in favour of bed rest. You guessed it. Yesterday we had a visitor and the house was a mess any other time and the house would have been OK with its cosy lived in look. Why is it that people seem to choose our 'bad housework days' to pay us a visit?

You know the old saying 'cleanliness is next to Godliness' there is also the opposite when many women and men turn cleanliness into obsession.

As I commented to Marie Cecile on her blog. I remember two ladies who were obsessed with cleanliness. One lady had a velvet lounge suite which was her pride and joy the problem was she couldnt stand anyone to actually sit on it. Once when a group of us descended on her we all sat on her lounge suite, while she sat on the edge of her own chair I could tell that something wasn't right. It was only when one of our friends got up that I discovered what it was, the lady of the house immediately ran over and began brushing down the lounge so that it all looked 'perfect'. This knowledge then had me in a lather wondering if I was messing up her perfect lounge. I ended up sitting on some cushions on the floor as did the rest of my friends while we were waiting for her kids to get ready to go out.

Another time many years later I visited a friend at her home. All went well until my friend discovered her husband had taken one of her magazines from its rack, this sent her berserk. My friend then yelled at her husband and ran around the house looking for this particular magazine. Eventually she found it and then proceeded to place the magazine in alphabetical order. As she ran around fussing over this one magazine I then noted how perfect her house was. There wasn't a sign of dust or anything out of place. Her house was a showcase home. It made me and my other friends too scared to move in case we 'upset' or moved something that would annoy her.

What I discovered was that these ladies had created 'chains' they did not enjoy their homes they had made themselves prisoners of it.

When it comes to your own homes do you keep it absolutely perfect or does your home have a cosy lived in feel?

If you do keep a cosy, lived in home do you encounter criticism from others?

As for me am I the only one who seems to get visitors on the days when the housework has NOT been done? Heehee!

What Makes a Happy Home?

We were born to live joy filled lives, is your life full of joy or woe or maybe a mixture of both? Why is it that some families seem to 'have it all' while others bicker, feud and end up dysfunctional? Why do some people seem able to always be happy and a joy to be around while for many more life seems to be an unequal struggle, against budgets, time constraints and deadlines?

When we look back to simpler days when life was less hectic and people had time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, many of us sigh at the image we are presented and also long for the 'good ole days' but was it that good? Looking back at our grandparents era they seemed to live happier and more content lives, but how can this be when they had less than what we enjoy today? Perhaps it is not so much about having 'things' as having substance and meaning, to everything they did, and that through their combined hard work they enjoyed the simple pleasures of life rather than gripe about the things they could not afford. Are we in a quest to gain the best for our families or are we longing to own what everybody else has?

In order to simplify our lives we need to understand that this will take effort, some self sacrifice and a realignment of our previous priorities, for the key to family happiness is inner contentment with what you have now and not a longing and discontent for what you do not have or can afford. Another key component is to understand what happiness is and what it is not, for in those who strive to gain things for themselves and their families often find they are leading lives of quiet desperation as their families neediness of 'things' increases while your own health and peace decreases, is it worth the price?

If you raise your children to take all you do for granted, they will do exactly that! If you don't respect your own work or worth then why should others? As Eleanor Roosevelt once told an audience, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If you make small of all the work you do within and outside of your home then why should your spouse or children respect what you yourself do not? Children will reflect what the parents have placed as all important in their lives.This is not to say that all children are angels or that every fault they display is the fault of the parents but a lack of appreciation and gratitude is indicative of a learned behaviour pattern.

When we fail to acknowledge what our Spouses contribute within the family unit whether it be providing a decent wage in order to live with the necessities of life or whether to provide a clean, healthy and happy environment, then it is the entire family that suffers. It is when children see the appreciation expressed by their parents for each other which validates and honors their own position within the family unit that children will soon follow suit and give their parents the respect they deserve. Also when we de-value our partners, by either ignoring their input or by taking for granted all the little things that make life bearable, are we not setting ourselves up for the unbearable alife devoid of love and mutual respect? No divorce ever went through the courts because a husband or wife was too appreciative of their partner, it is usually always the reverse.

Our homes should be an oasis of peace in an often hectic and volatile world, where families who have placed God, Faith, The Sacraments of the Church and family at the centre of their lives can gain the peace of heart that only Christ can give. This peace is then rejuvenated within the family as both husband and wife appreciate each others work and efforts to help maintain a loving and cozy family atmosphere where the children feel loved and needed.

In order to understand what will make your family happy and healthy one's goal must be to raise your children to have character and integrity by serving God, their families and community. It also means ignoring what society and the worldly try and seduce families into believing that God means nothing and self comes first! As Pope John Paul II warned with these wise words, "The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation."

Where have you placed your spiritual priorities?