Someone has insulted Barack Obama(or is thinking of insulting Barack Obama. Yes guys the Mic is on!)
An ex-footballer's wife or ex-golfer's wife or ex-whatever receives one hundred million dollar's in a divorce payment (it's called retribution!)
A celebrity is divorcing another celebrity because both were having affairs with other celebrities. Or a celebrity is having an affair with the nanny who is about to become a 'celebrity.'
When a celebrity has given birth to a child and names it summer lollipop(or whatever other ridiculous name they can think of!)
A celebrity is caught on film behaving badly and is headed for Rehab.
A celebrity who has just finished their rehab programme and decides one more drink wont hurt. Consequence? See the above!
News anchors who spend 10 precious minutes discussing their favourite brand of coffee (who gives a monkey's?!)
The business report, the Dow Jones has done something really drastic and the Nasdaq has followed suit along with Hang Seng, not to mention the Nikkei(OK! I wont mention it. Who the heck understands it anyway?!)
A footballer is fined for hitting another footballer(Personally I'd fine them all for spitting on the field. It's GROSS. Stop it now!)
A politician waffling on about climate change. The greenhouse effect and the ozone layer and el Nino-something(what's going to change? Absolutely nothing!)
The rest of the news? Sorry I went to sleep long ago zzzzzzz LOL!
Written By Marie