This is a piece I wrote a couple years ago, it’s a bit long but the points I highlighted are still very relevant and even more evident today.
Ah yes! Valentine day is upon us. It’s the time for chocolate, roses and stuffed animals. Cupid is busing himself shooting arrows, the devil is singing and the cash registers are going “cha-ching.” Sex toys are out in all their glory, condom advertisements have been quadrupled, hotels are offering packages for couples to come and share an “intimate” evening and night and the kinky lingerie has turned from scraps to floss. We hear people saying Valentine day has lost its meaning as far as “love” is concerned but the harsher reality is what it has turned into…. a day and night in honor of vices.
Far too many young people choose this day to give away one of their most precious gifts, their virginity. They plan for months to make this night oh so perfect for their first time. Some will argue, hey they don’t even wait and plan for Valentine day but the fact remains that far to many use this “holiday” as an avenue to entice their partner into giving up something that should be saved for your beloved spouse on your wedding night. Just do it….. on your wedding night. I am not saying to get married for the sake of having sex “within” marriage, marriage is not to be taken lightly nor is having sex. It’s not even called sex, its called “making love”.
Almost laughable. For starters what is dubbed “making love” is more often than not, brutal, perverse and downright degrading to those partaking in the act. God created us above the animals yet some humans choose to behave like animals, not even like animals but worse than them. What was created to be a beautiful union of a man and a woman, yes a man and a woman, has been twisted and misshaped into something that people either well are ashamed of or just don’t care about.
And yup that deceiver of all deceivers is behind it all. We have those who think that sex is this bad thing and cringe at the mention of the word, oh no not me, not sex! I can understand where it stems from but it is not right to think that sex is something bad and wrong. Anything created by God is indeed good, its how man has taken something beautiful and turned it into something that people are ashamed of. Then there are the I don’t even know how to describe them, people who just casually and yes its casual, have sex anywhere, anytime, any place with anyone. Sex to them is like frogs jumping from one lily pad to the next, before you bat your eyelid it’s another partner.
Oh how it pains me to see something so precious and sacred, used and abused for selfish desires. The brutality and the pervasiveness stems from a selfish desire to satisfy self…the ME me me, its all about me syndrome. You say you love me and I love you, so let’s “make love” because we are in love. But let’s consider another option, I love you and will not have sex with you or anyone else until marriage because I love and respect you so much that I will deny my selfish desires. WOW! Now isn’t this love, denial of SELF for love of me. I’ll take it!
We have been so foolishly led to believe that the way to show we love someone is to shower them with gifts, expensive gifts at that. Who said that a guy has to give a gal flowers and chocolate and jewellery to prove that he loves her? So what if the guy really can’t afford to buy you something, are we gals so self-centered that we would pressure the guy and keep reminding him, “hon Valentine day is coming up, don’t forget the diamonds! The bigger the better, and if I don’t get it you know you ain’t getting “it” either.”
So that’s what we have come to, using sex to get what we want and have turned heartfelt expressions into the more dollars spent the more I “love” and appreciate you. There is a word for this, witchcraft, manipulating someone to have our way. There is nothing new under the sun, I think it’s just that this generation does everything in the open. I mean to walk through a mall and see stores specializing in ‘adult toys”. And this is not limited to the so-called generation X, there are many married people who have these “toys”. Would really love to know how you would explain one of these toys to your four year old who just happens to find one of your “tools” lying around. What would you say?
And the media that gives us so much information, too much information at times, we don’t hear them saying anything. Why would they have anything to say, I mean Valentine day advertisements and sales boost just about every sector of the economy! Let’s see, the kinky lingerie, yah need the cloth, well I beg to differ, these things I can use to floss my teeth and still need some real floss to finish cleaning my teeth for there being a lack of cloth! So there is a demand for the materials needed to make this lingerie. This would include the energy sector, the public sector, have all the taxes etc etc to pay and lets not forget the private sector. The wholesalers and the retailers, the stores and the media, big bucks for advertisements!
Commercialize it more and more, make them spend more and more, money they don’t even have, make them want more and more and not be able to satisfy our gluttonous appetites for wanting everything. The master puppeteer, pulling and tugging at us, making us dance to his music, without even realizing that it is part of his “master plan.” Pulls a cover over our eyes and make us go and do everything based on selfish desires.
So yes I reach to the “ah its okay to have sex cause we are doing it the ‘safe way’ excuse.” The condom….tsk tsk tsk. Safe sex right. Wrong. Okay the downside of the condom, who would have thought that there is a downside to using a condom, well there is. Let’s see, a sperm cell which is couple thousand times larger than a virus cell can pass through the “wall” of the condom. Safe isn’t it, very safe. So parents give their children these safety “tools” and pat themselves on the back, “yes I have done something good! Three cheers for me, my kids are going to be safe now! Hey if they are going to do it anyway they might as well be safe! Yeah a round of applause for me!!!”
I mean far be it to suggest to your kids, “hon you should wait until your honeymoon night to give your precious gift of virginity to your beloved.” Oh no no no! We treat virginity as if it is some sort of plague, like if you don’t have sex now like lightening is gonna strike yah down or you will break out in a rash or get spasms or something. We tell our boys, “son to be a man you have to plant your seeds, spread them far and wide. Then and only then are you da man!”
And our girls, we encourage them to give in cause we say, “well they are in ‘love’ and the only way to keep the guy around if for you to have sex with him.” you know the excuse of well “I much rather know and be able to ‘protect’ them rather than not know and have them NOT doing it the ‘safe way’.
So why is the fact that there isn’t any such thing as having safe sex using a condom not being advertised? Well the condom industry entices the medical industry to say nothing about it cause lets see, if more people come down with STD’s, that’s more people who will require treatment and drugs. Ahhh the mighty dollar sign! We spend loads of money to buy these condoms then pay the rest of our lives cause our “safety apparatus” was faulty. Puppets dancing to the control and music of the master puppeteer on a stage set up by him.
It’s the day to wine, dine and “romance” each other, manipulate our partners into buying us stuff and then manipulate our partners into “giving” us stuff because we spent big bucks on them. Love is not an erotic, impulsive emotion, it is something that is part of the will and true love is only willed by one who is being fed true affection and appreciation by genuine, heartfelt expressions that comes from the will of another. Call me a prude but Cupid better aim his arrow somewhere else.