Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Early Church Fathers-The P/C Version

This is a satirical look at how the words of the Early Church Fathers would be altered to suit the Politically Correct crowd of today.

The Words of Polycarp to the Philippians;

"Wherefore, girding up your loins," serve the Lord in fear and truth, as those who have forsaken the vain, empty talk and error of the multitude, and "believed in Him who raised up our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead, and gave Him glory, and a throne at His right hand. To Him all things in heaven and on earth are subject. Him every spirit serves. He comes as the Judge of the living and the dead. His blood will God require of those who do not believe in Him...if we do His will, and walk in His commandments, and love what He loved, keeping ourselves from all unrighteousness, covetousness, love of money, evil speaking, false witness; "not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing," or blow for blow, or cursing for cursing, but being mindful of what the Lord said in His teaching: "Judge not, that ye be not judged; forgive, and it shall be forgiven unto you...once more, "Blessed are the poor, and those that are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of God."

A 'politically' correct Polycarp the revisionist version

Wherefore, girding up your loins, keep always the thought of what others may think of you to the forefront. Do not offend those who hold different views from yourself, it could be the case that your God may not be everyone's god so just choose a god that appeases all. Do not talk about such things as the one who Judges all, it may cause offense and may be seen as a hate crime so keep the truth quiet in order to get along with the world.'

The words of Justin Martyr

"Yes, I am a Christian...I hope that, if I endure these things, I shall have His gifts. For I know that, to all who have thus lived, there abides the divine favour until the completion of the whole world. No right-thinking person falls away from piety to impiety. Through prayer we can be saved on account of our Lord Jesus Christ, even when we have been punished, because this shall become to us salvation and confidence at the more fearful and universal judgment-seat of our Lord and Saviour."

A politically Correct Justin Martyr

Yes, I am a Christian...though I am also accepting of other idea's and philosophies, why should I demand that others believe as I do? What matters is that I am saved I care not for speaking the Truth lest others may feel offended. No right-thinking person should actually live their Faith or they may be called 'holier than thou' or worse they may lose their popularity. As for universal judgement-seat of our Lord and Saviour, who and what is your 'god' of the day, surely we have become to sophisticated for this outmoded thinking of 'judging'.'

The Words of St Irenaeus

"God is the source of all activity throughout creation. He cannot be seen or described in his own nature and in all his greatness by any of his creatures. Yet he is certainly not unknown. Through his Word the whole creation learns that there is one God the Father, who holds all things together and gives them their being. As it is written in the Gospel, "No man has ever seen God, except the only-begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father; he has revealed him."

The Politically Correct Saint Irenaeus

'God is the source of all activity throughout creation. We must accept that we are descended from apes for this is what science teaches us, has not science become a new 'god'? Through his Word the whole creation learns that there is one God the Father. Surely as intelligent human beings we understand the Bible was written by men who are fallible, do we trust this 'man written bible' or should we rely on our own reasoning abilities? God is what you want him to be, lest anyone feel excluded, therefore as proud 'catholics' surely we should be open minded to realise that there is no truth outside of your own perceived 'truths', therefore all 'truths' are true, are they not?'

What version would the 'world' find acceptable?