Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Just What The Doctor Ordered - A Dose Of Laughter

Mother Mouse was crossing the street with her three little children. She got about halfway across the road when she spotted a cat, crouched and ready to pounce upon them. The cat and Mother Mouse eyeballed each other for two or three minutes. Finally, Mother Mouse opened her mouth and let out an enormous "WOOF." The cat quickly scurried away.

Mother Mouse turned to her three little ones and said, "NOW do you see the advantage of a second language?"

The story of Adam and Eve was being carefully explained in the children's Sunday School class. Following the story, the children were asked to draw some picture that would illustrate the story. Little Bobby was most interested and drew a picture of a car with three people in it. In the front seat, behind the wheel was a man and in the back seat, a man and a woman.

The teacher was at a loss to understand how this illustrated the lesson of Adam and Eve. But little Bobby was prompt with his explanation. "Why, this is God driving Adam and Eve out of the garden!"

A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked, 'Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.'

The civil engineer interrupted and said, 'But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong, mine is the oldest profession in the world.'

The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled and said confidently, 'Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?'

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!"