Monday, June 18, 2007

The Surrended Wife-Does It Work?

I read an extract in a magazine about a new book called 'The Surrended Wife..'. The book is how one woman transformed her unhappy marriage into a blissfully happy one by becoming agreeable to her husband at all times.

I read the article and can see the benefits in that over the years and due to the feminist movement(which is Anti-woman) the roles between men and women which were once clearly defined have now become so blurred that men feel confused and frustrated that nothing they do seems right.

The basis of the book is that wives become totally submissive to their husbands, they no longer quarrel even if the husband is wrong, the wife simply stays silent, rather than correct her husband. The book also suggests that a wife be always agreeable to her husband when he is in the mood for sex, the wife is never to say no, irrespective of her mood.

Even though this sounds good in theory I wonder just how practical it is in real life? Even though the author of the book Laura Doyle says she practices what she is writing about, I have to wonder how feasible this idea is in this modern world we all inhabit?

For instance I have Christian friends who also lead traditional 'the male is the sole provider' philosophy. Larry worked in a factory on a minimum wage, his wife, Sally was a stay at home Mum of 4 children all under 12 years. Three of their children were in private school, which was very costly. I saw over the years how Larry grew more and more tired, while Sally made do with what she could on such a low income. At the end of the week their children would have cereal for their evening meal, simply because they had run out of food and had to wait for Larry's pay day. This placed a terrible burden on Larry's shoulders, and though Sally was a very good & thrifty housewife, still life was difficult. Then oneday Sally bought a large bag of dried apricots in order to make jams, tarts etc. When Larry found out that the cost was $20 he lost his temper and reminded Sally that ' it is MY money, you're spending' did this make Larry a horrible person? No! He was simply exhausted, being the sole provider for a large family was becoming too much.

Not long after Larry's statement Sally got a part time job as a cleaner from 6PM to 9PM. I saw with my own eyes how much this helped their particular family unit, Larry's furrowed brow was now gone replaced by a non worried loving husband and father. Their family roles did not change in that Larry remained as Head of the Home while Sally was his helpmate in life both as wife and also in sharing the financial burden.

I wondered what different generations would think of this book, and its message? Should ALL wives be stay at home Mum's? Or should they share the financial burden of supporting their families?

Should wives be so totally submissive to their husbands, never being able to express an opinion that differs from their husbands? Or would the husband find this boring?

Let me know what you think of this particular lifestyle? Is it viable? Or too stifling? And do men really want stepford wives?